Finding Gratitude in the Midst of Suffering
The month of November conjures up a variety of emotions and responses in us. Are you feeling them already?
For some, this is their favorite time of year, a season they have been waiting for since it ended last year. For others, this time of year is busy and stressful as they think about how few days are left before Christmas.
And for some, this season is painful as you are reminded every single day as the holidays approach that someone is missing this year, an empty seat at the table. And somewhere in the midst of all of that, we find ourselves in the month of the year that is typically focused on the idea of thanksgiving and gratitude.
It goes without saying that these past few years have been hard…really hard. Life in general is hard, and in the midst of challenging and difficult circumstances, it can seem impossible to find things for which to be grateful.
I think we all know in theory that there is always something to be grateful for, but when we are suffering, we tend to be laser-focused on our pain.
But here’s the thing. Suffering is a part of life.
Suffering often co-exists with times of ease or blessing. We all enter into the month of November every year experiencing both suffering and joy.
So, how do we find gratitude in the midst of our suffering? How do we “choose joy” when our circumstances are far less than joyful?
There are a few verses in the book of James (Chapter 1) that I often joke about having a love/hate relationship with. Take a moment to read these three verses, and then I’ll tell you what I mean.
“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.
Let perseverance finish its work
so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”
James 1:2-4 (NIV)
Consider it pure joy when you face trials?! Does anybody else have a reaction to those words? It can be difficult to do that after you’ve gone through the trial and come out on the other side. How much more difficult it can be when you’re in the thick of it! But these words intrigue me, too. As we take a deeper look, I hope we’ll come to this conclusion:
The first part is possible because the second part is true.
When we are tested, it can produce perseverance and strength. The more we are tested and stand up under the pressure, the more we grow into maturity.
As you take some time to consider these words, allow me to offer a few more truths to reflect on.
Not all pain is bad.
Pain can be a great indicator that something is wrong and needs attention. Pain can be necessary at times to correct what needs to be corrected.
Think of a patient who is feeling sick and goes to their doctor. After running some tests, it is determined that the patient has a growth that needs to be removed. The discomfort that the patient was feeling was the indicator that something was wrong and needed attention.
In order to remove the growth, further pain must be inflicted through the process of surgery. This is still pain, but necessary pain that leads to recovery.
Pain can produce strength in us if we allow it to.
This becomes incredibly clear to me every single time I go to the gym. The gym I train at pushes me to my absolute limits every single day I go, and my body feels the pain and soreness in my muscles.
It’s not easy, and there are more times than not that I want to stop, take a break, or not even go to the gym; but this pain makes me stronger every single day that I show up. Testing that is endured makes us stronger.
Gratitude is a choice, which means it’s always possible.
This is important to remember. It’s a posture of the heart and a state of the mind that we can choose every day. It’s rarely an easy choice, but it is possible.
And as I often say to my six year old who is prone to complain when he doesn’t get what he wants when he wants it, “Gratitude changes your attitude.” As cheesy and cliche as that might sound, it’s true.
When our focus is redirected to all that we have to be grateful for, joy begins to grow, and we realize that gratitude is actually within our reach…even when we are suffering.